My [30F] no bf [35M] has accused me of being dishonest and I don’t know how to proceed… Our relationship has been amazing (7 months) and we have talked so much about the future, kids, marriage, etc. We have been extremely solid and happy (sometimes I wouldn’t even believe my life was real because I was so happy and I would break into happy tears randomly because I felt so blessed), I love him to pieces and I would never do anything to harm our relationship. Everything has been great up until last week. I went on a trip to an island with my best friends (30F & 31F) who he has met. I let him know about this trip 3 months ago as it was a celebration trip for my graduation and my best friends birthday. He was super cool with it and excited for me. During the first 3 days, everything was fine between us. We texted a bit and would talk on the phone before bed. The fourth day, I left my phone at home in the morning and my friends and I went to the beach, burrito spot, etc and I texted him from my friends phone around 1 pm to tell him I had left my phone at home and I would call when I was back, to which he responded super sweetly and basically said no worries. Then, it escalated for the next 4 days. The first night he asked me to tell him everything I did, which I did, and he thought I was lying about something but he couldn’t tell what. It escalated to him calling me mean names, and telling me I should be honest with him (which I was), and wanting to break it off with me. The second day he was apologetic in the morning and the by the afternoon he was accusing me of lying again. My friend got on the phone with him and told him the whole story and he said it was different than what I told him (it wasn’t). The third day, I woke up to a weird voicemail from him and bunch of missed calls. The voicemail was him saying the name of a guy who my friend was gonna get a surf lesson from and never did, but I’m assuming he saw that my friend had followed him on instagram. I also had an email for a passcode to get into my instagram, meaning he had tried to log into it that night. More accusations of nothing in particular, just that I was definitely being dishonest. The fourth day he told me that there was still a chance with him if I could tell him the truth, and that he had proof I was lying. I told him I had been truthful the whole time, never withheld any information, and asked to see the “proof”. He sent me a screen recording that I realized he took from a website that has cameras on beaches all over the world so people can see the surf conditions. There were two people in the video close to each other in the ocean, and yeah, he said it was me. He said that “he” (don’t know who this is) sent him the video and “all of the details of what happened”. Now, im back home, and i don’t know what to do. We haven’t had a conversation in person yet, but im willing to hear him out because i really do love him, but he has put me through emotional hell. He wanted me to drive to him today (an hour) because he couldn’t come to me because he “couldn’t handle the 60 minute transit ride” because he’s “not in the right headspace”. I expressed to him that I feel the same way and I think he needs to extend himself to make this right. I think he’s realizing that I didn’t do anything and that he fabricated all of these weird delusions/accusations (I hope). Is there coming back from this? Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with a partner that will just absolutely not believe you no matter what you say? He is so special to me, the most unique spirit and I really do love him to pieces. \\\\\\\*also worth mentioning we are both sober, and he had a serious issue with alcohol. Another accusation he threw on me was that I was drinking (I was not and my sobriety is very important to me) Any and all advice welcome. Thank you for reading. TLDR; boyfriend has wild unsubstantiated mistrust for me and I don’t know if I should allow it to continue. submitted by /u/NetLeft6752
Originally posted by u/NetLeft6752 on r/AskMen
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