I’m trying to get some honest male perspectives because I’m genuinely confused about how to interpret this. I was recently talking to a male friend and during the conversation I mentioned that I had been sexually assaulted a few weeks ago. It wasn’t something I planned on sharing, but it came up naturally while discussing personal boundaries and safety. His first reaction caught me off guard. He started asking things like: “Were you so drunk that you blacked out and didn’t know what happened?” “Isn’t it your responsibility to be safe and cautious?” “Why didn’t you call your friends for help?” And at one point he said, “There’s a very fine line between rape and sex.” I immediately found myself getting defensive and trying to explain what happened. To be fair to him, he later clarified that he wasn’t blaming me. He got angry that this happened, thought I should have reported it, and was upset that I wasn’t taking legal action. He kept saying what happened was wrong and that it wasn’t too late to do something about it. But I can’t stop thinking about those initial questions. If a female friend disclosed that she had been sexually assaulted while asleep/intoxicated, would your mind immediately go to questions like these? Would you be trying to understand the situation first, or would your first instinct be concern and emotional support? I’m not looking for validation or for people to call him a bad person. I’m genuinely trying to understand whether this is a common reaction from men hearing something like this, or whether it suggests a very different way of thinking about situations like this. Would love honest opinions. submitted by /u/Top_Answer8713
Originally posted by u/Top_Answer8713 on r/AskMen