Girlfriend is constantly committing me to plans despite me not really accepting them in the first place… it’s becoming insufferable and very annoying to listen to and negotiate with… For instance she has a work trip next month. I said I didn’t want to go because 1) I have a wedding the week after I might need to use PTO to attend because it’s a bit of a drive… 2) I didn’t want to use the minimal PTO I get already while she’s in work meetings most of the time and we’d only have time to spend together after 5pm. I didn’t think it made much sense to go. A lot of other partners are attending. And it’s a new job she got an offer for a week ago. Also my company only gives me 7 days of PTO a year and they accrue over time so I only have 4 at the moment. She didn’t want to go to my cousins wedding the week after her work trip and all I said was “ok no problem I’ll rsvp just I’m going” … when I decline the work trip it’s “oh well you’re not even close with this cousin” “I don’t want to go alone” “I’m scared of flying alone” It’s true I’m not close with the cousin, however his father’s always been there for me, and I have deep respect for him. I’ve skipped some cousins weddings, so ya this isn’t important to me at all. But I feel it’s best to go. Also now for Father’s Day, she wants me to go see her dad, it’s not my priority but I said if my dad’s family does something in the afternoon or at night. Maybe I can make it in the morning, but it’s not my priority that day. Then she keeps pestering me “did you figure out your dads plans for Father’s Day, you need to figure them out so I know I can let me dad know if you’ll make it or not” my dads family isn’t big planners it’s gonna be more of a day before “ya everyone come over around this time” could be brunch, could be dinner, I have no clue. Last month almost every weekend involved some plans with her friends, 2 weddings, an engagement party, a work happy hour, her mom’s birthday party. So almost every weekend was occupied with something… I generally do go to her plans, even the ones I don’t really want to attend… sometimes I make a bit of a fuss over the plans I’ll admit but nothing crazy… Now she does the old “I don’t ask you for much and I so do much for you so it hurts” When in reality I feel like I have done significantly more things with her friend group, family, etc. over the past couple years than she has mine… and if she didn’t want to attend something within my friend group or family, I’d simply just go “ok no problem I’ll tell them you can’t make it” Also with this work trip I really put my foot down and said “no and if you commit me to going without my consent, I will absolutely not show up” just so she didn’t say I would go, or tell them I’m tentative or something. submitted by /u/SpeakerReasonable610
Originally posted by u/SpeakerReasonable610 on r/AskMen
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