A Story similar to what you’ve heard before. Sorry if it’s boring or monotonous, you can skip it. TLDR: loneliness, frustration, lack of self-confidence. I am almost 22 years old, and in as few words as possible I feel alone, both physically and mentally. Disclaimer though before you say anything: I know the theory: I don’t feel entitled to a relationship, interest from a girl or anything, I know it’s important to love yourself to be able to love someone else, from the point of view of sex I know that it doesn’t fundamentally change you as a person and it doesn’t solve other problems, that a bad long or short-term relationship can be worse than the lack of it, that if you’re desperate you attract less of what you’re after, that self-confidence is very important, that you don’t have to make it a primary goal, that it doesn’t help if I’m just complaining on the internet, etc. I know these things and yet I make some of these mistakes. I try to work on myself both objectively (please do not suggest gym, I have been doing sports/gym for 5 years with small breaks :) ) and subjectively. However my confidence is low, my brain keeps telling me there’s no point in trying that no girl I’d like would like me back, etc. I am aware of these things and I try to work on myself, yet in the meantime I feel very alone. Not all the time, but at night before bed, when I go out for a run and see a beautiful girl or a couple, as well as on social media, etc. And not just emotionally as well as physically, I feel very horny (louder than in high school) and that makes me feel more alone sometimes. Despite this, I was and am platonic friends with girls, I don’t objectify girls and I don’t consider them different from men or anything. I managed to get used to excessive pornography and I also tried nofap, but without masturbation it seems very difficult and makes me more frustrated. I’d love to be able to put those feelings aside and focus harder on myself without FOMO (If I had a button for that, I’d press it). Maybe my priorities are wrong, I don’t know. I really don’t leave the house much, I only have 2 good friends. I’m still in medical school in the 4th year, and besides that I spend the rest of my time at the gym or at home with 2-3 other hobbies that I still have and I try to develop in them. I only had the courage once to say “indirectly” to a girl I liked that I liked her, inviting her out but she refused me (I don’t have a problem with that). I know I should try harder but I’m afraid of failure, I don’t know if there’s any point in trying harder to talk to girls, go to them, etc. To wait until I am more confident with myself (it could take many years), to try to do both. If so, How? How to socialize more, how to stop having so much self doubt and do so much overthink, to stop being so passive and, in the meantime, how NOT to feel alone, frustrated, etc. If you’ve read this far, thank you, I hope I haven’t wasted anyone’s time. I have no one to talk to about these things and internalize them a bit too much, so it feels good to say them, even if anonymously. If you really take the post seriously and give advice I will try to be more open and follow them. submitted by /u/Luccy_33
Originally posted by u/Luccy_33 on r/AskMen
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