Not sure if you’d even call this an identity crisis but I need help please. Not sure how to say this, but I’d like to ask for advice from the good people of the internet. My entire adult life (26m currently) has consisted of working and aiming to be a IT oriented person with the hopes and dreams of being a software engineer in video game development, or at least that was the original plan. As the years have progressed, I’ve since had to dilute into what areas where available to me; from chasing a data analytics role, to ICT Engineer to just a simple help desk. Over the last 4-5 years I’ve slowly lost every angle that allowed me to be involved into the world of big tech. With companies mistreating me, corporate manipulation, layoffs and such; to then in the past year having a relationship heartbreak, 3 layoffs back to back (4 total now), a car wreck, lawsuit, debt and became almost homeless for a little while only to finally get back on my feet working two jobs and but by then I started to realize everything that helped shape in me knowing who I was and how I identified myself, has been stripped within the last year. Since then I’ve taken a role as a blue collar worker, working on construction sites with Geotechnical Engineers as a field tech in training. It’s not what I’ve trained for in the last 5 years; but it’s honest work. I say all this to make this one notion. I feel lost in who I am and where I’m at in life. I wake up early in the morning and I look at myself in the mirror but I have no correlation or understanding who I see in that mirror. I’m a mystery to my own self now. Living a life and working a job I have no idea about, friends, family and my old social circle gone, and no idea in what or how to align myself to or even if I should. Every moment of my past 4-5 years has been stained as nothing more than an echo of a life I once tried to achieve. Simply put… I don’t know who I am anymore, and I don’t know how to find who I am or how to understand myself to keep finding purpose in going on. Don’t get me wrong I’m not suicidal or anything, I’m just lost in trying to make sense of who I am and where I am and how to make sense of it all going forward. Which leads me to ask this; how can I begin to even try to go back into the world of big tech or game engines in development? It’s my passion, or at least I think it is, or was. And I need advice from others who had to basically start over and find their footing in life again. Where would I even start, because the truth is, I don’t see myself being able to stay at this job for the next 5 years. I’m losing myself and my values of everything I have known about myself while working this job. And I don’t have a life outside of it, which is not much of a job at all if you ask me. Simply put, It’s just not who I am, but I want to try to figure out who that is. And I’m praying God can lead me to that. submitted by /u/TheBlindSnipez
Originally posted by u/TheBlindSnipez on r/AskMen