I think the title sums it up pretty succinctly. I have just been broken up with after my first long term relationship in my life so far. She was my best friend, both before we got together and during our relationship. I have loved other people, but this is the first time I really felt that gut wrenching pain, the visceral throb in the pit in your stomach. I woke up at 1:30am- 4:30am last night and was been staring at a wall and bawling intermittently for god knows how long. I woke up today, deleted all our photos then just broke down again. Felt like a fucking child holding my old teddy in the fetal position. It doesn’t just feel like I’m mourning the time we had together, but also the person I’ve become during the relationship. Before, I always struggled with committing wholly to another person, having always been scared of the emotional turmoil that is always present with love. I dealt with huge issues of self-worth and self love by sleeping around with women casually. But with her, it just felt right. It all feels very surreal right now, and very much feel disassociative. If anyone has any tips for month 1 to god knows how long it takes to heal, I would massively value them. A final rant from me is that I couldn’t have done anything more. I gave myself fully and whole heartedly, because I thought she deserved it. During our conversation, I articulated for the first time something I already knew, but was that I was always more into it and willing to make more sacrifices for the long term than her, and I feel like I deserved more. There was no infidelity, and I hold no ill will towards her. I just need to find some healthy strategies, aside from being active and talking through support networks. I am already an active gym-goer and engage in a healthy lifestyle. Cheers guys. submitted by /u/Reasonable-Notice437
Originally posted by u/Reasonable-Notice437 on r/AskMen