I guess I’m mostly here to vent and see if any other dads can relate. I’ve been with my wife for 17 years. We have two kids, ages 9 and 2. Our relationship, I’d say, is pretty healthy overall. Father’s Day was yesterday, and honestly, I’m struggling more with it than I expected. I lost my dad when I was 4 and it’s was always a hard day for me - until I had kids myself. We got up around 7 AM. Around noon, my wife finally said, “Oh, by the way, happy Father’s Day.” That was the extent of it. I literally heard from multiple coworkers and friends before hearing from her. My kids didn’t acknowledge it at all. Not because they’re ungrateful, but because nobody told them it was Father’s Day or encouraged them to say anything. What hurts isn’t the lack of gifts. I don’t need presents. What bothers me is feeling like the day didn’t matter enough for someone to help the kids recognize it. For Mother’s Day, I make a point to celebrate her. I get the flowers, the gift of her choice, a card made from our daughter (since she was ~3), get breakfast, make a special dinner or go out, take care of all the household chores, and generally try to make the day special. Before anyone assumes otherwise, we have a pretty balanced relationship when it comes to responsibilities. I do all the cooking/groceries, she handles the laundry, and we split cleaning and most other household chores pretty evenly. The area where she carries the heavy load is transportation of the kids to and from school/daycare (my work schedule doesn’t allow for me to do this plus she works from home). I pay the bulk of the bills (mortgage, car payments, etc. she handles utilities and pays for groceries) This isn’t a situation where one parent is carrying everything while the other expects recognition. Not every Father’s Day has been this absent, but this also isn’t the first time it’s felt like an afterthought. The part that’s really sticking with me is that nobody made an effort to involve the kids. A simple “Happy Father’s Day, Dad” from my daughter would have meant more to me than any gift ever could. Since yesterday I’ve found myself feeling distant. I’m not being rude, passive-aggressive, or making comments about it. I haven’t said a word. But I can’t help feeling hurt and disconnected. Now today, I’m getting some attitude from my wife, and I honestly don’t know if she’s picking up on the fact that I’m withdrawn or if she doesn’t realize anything is wrong. Maybe I’m overreacting. Maybe I’m not. I just know that for the first time in a while, I don’t feel particularly appreciated, and it’s weighing on me more than I expected. Any other dads ever deal with this? How did you handle it? submitted by /u/cmc7974
Originally posted by u/cmc7974 on r/AskMen
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