I’m 20F and have been seeing a guy (23M) for a little over a year. When we started, neither of us wanted a relationship. If anything, I was the more avoidant one. I was perfectly happy keeping things casual and never really expected it to become emotionally complicated. The problem is that after a year, it doesn’t feel very casual anymore. We see each other regularly (usually once a week), spend the night together, know a lot about each other’s lives, and have told each other things I don’t think most FWBs tell each other. I’ve told him about family issues, a previous situationship that ended badly, health stuff that was honestly embarrassing to talk about, etc. He’s remembered details, checked in on things, and occasionally sends me random things that remind him of me. One thing that completely confused me was when he came over one night and we literally just hung out. No sex. We just spent time together. I know that sounds ridiculous, but at the time I remember thinking, “If we’re supposedly casual, why are you spending your free time sitting on my couch?” A few months ago I actually tried to end things because I was confused about what we were doing. Instead of agreeing, he basically told me he was still having a good time and wanted to keep seeing me. At the same time, I’ve never met his friends. I wasn’t invited to his birthday. We’ve never had a conversation about what we actually are. So I’m not asking you to analyze this specific guy. I’m asking men who have actually been in a similar position:
- Have you ever had a situationship/FWB last a year or more?
- Did you have feelings for her?
- If you liked her, what stopped it from becoming a relationship?
- Did you genuinely care about her but still not see a future?
- Looking back, what was actually going through your head? Happy to answer questions if there’s context I’m missing. submitted by /u/Apart-Response-5773
Originally posted by u/Apart-Response-5773 on r/AskMen