I (29M) didn’t really have strong male role models growing up. Looking back, I spent most of my time around girls and generally avoided competition, confrontation, and traditionally masculine spaces. Whether that’s related or not, I grew into someone who was very conflict-avoidant and often second-guessed himself. When I met my wife, something changed. She consistently believed in me, supported me, and validated me. She didn’t do anything extraordinary, but over time I became more comfortable in my own skin. I started enjoying things I’d never paid much attention to before—sports, rock music, pushing myself physically, and generally becoming more assertive. The one thing I still struggle with is conflict. Whenever there’s confrontation, I feel fear. My mind starts racing. Part of me worries that if I speak up, I’ll say something emotional or damaging that makes the situation worse and ends up hurting my position. Because of that, I often stay quiet when I should stand up for myself. Afterwards, I feel weak, and I hate that feeling. For people who used to be conflict-avoidant but learned to become more assertive: what helped? How did you learn to stand your ground without becoming aggressive or losing control of your emotions? Ps Internally I am very aggressive and competitive. submitted by /u/BLUE_DART_FIRE
Originally posted by u/BLUE_DART_FIRE on r/AskMen