Hey, I’m male in my mid to late 20s, I spend my early 20s around a lot of women (probably 80/20) and was close friends with them. In these groups settings I was often the only man, which never bothered me much. What bothered me however were the opinions these women expressed about men and the manner in which they expressed them. I don’t know how often I silently sat by 5-10 minute men trashing sessions. (I want to add here that I 100% agree with women that they have good reasons to be angry and frustrated with men) None of these comments were ever pointed at me myself, but they still made me pretty sad, because at the end of the day that is also how I am perceived as a man right. I tried to argue that point a couple of times, but that lead nowhere, except that I always was reassured that I was “different”. I always tried to keep the bad thoughts what “Women” think about “Men” at bay. For a time, that went pretty well, however close to the end of my uni time, after an argument this firewall completely collapsed and I had a psychologically very dark episode for a couple of months. In the two something years since that time I moved cities and mostly kept my distance from women, because If I’m a piece of shit anyways, whats the fucking point. Not in a toxic way where I was rude, just persistently prioritizing my life away from women. I accustomed myself to the thought of never having a romantic partner and was mostly fine with that. However recently I have really fallen in love with the idea of being a father and for that (unfortunately for me) you need a women. A couple of months back a women I had briefly met through a friend asking me out for a coffee. I though she was cute and because of the wish of one day being a father, I went on three dates with her. On the surface the entire thing went pretty well … and she told me later that she enjoyed herself. However during and after the dates I was so brain broken on those past comments, like “I wish I was lesbian” and “dating men just sucks”, “women are just so much prettier than men” and I always wondered if she had made such comments in the past and if she would be making such comments to her friends about me. I feel like there is a decent chance (not all ofc), that in my dating pool (my age, center left/left) that women like this will be there and I don’t know how to get past that. I think I have a pretty high self esteem as a human being, but my self esteem as a man in regards to dating is just non existent. The end of the story was that I broke the thing of and told her that I wasn’t feeling “it”. Around a week ago a women from the gym I go to came up to me and gave me her number. She seems cool too, but I feel like I’m just running back the same playbook, in which case why waste her and my time … Idk, just some input would be cool super appreciated … submitted by /u/6ub3y
Originally posted by u/6ub3y on r/AskMen
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