I (41F) have been with my husband for over 15 years. We have spent the last several years building a business together, which has required us to live long distance for much longer than we ever expected. Sometimes we do not see each other for months. What makes this so hard is that we used to be an incredible team. We genuinely enjoyed building something together, and for many years I never doubted our relationship. Over the past few years, though, he has been under enormous pressure. He works constantly, sleeps very little, and honestly seems close to burnout. I know he feels responsible for keeping everything afloat, and I have tried to be patient and understanding. What I struggle with is this:
- Sometimes we go well over a week without a proper phone call.
- He rarely reaches out first.
- During a very difficult family situation on my side, I felt surprisingly alone emotionally.
- Thoughtful gestures or messages often receive little or no response.
- Even discussing important decisions has become increasingly difficult. At the same time, I know he still has regular conversations with family and friends. He once told me that those interactions feel easy, whereas with me he immediately thinks about responsibilities, problems, expectations, or difficult conversations. He says he simply has no capacity left for more pressure. I genuinely believe he is struggling. But I also find myself wondering: where is the line between understanding someone who is overwhelmed and neglecting your own emotional needs? From a male perspective: Can extreme stress or burnout really make someone withdraw this much from their spouse? Or, at some point, does it become less about stress and more about priorities? I am not asking whether I should leave him. I am trying to understand whether my expectations are unreasonable—or whether most men would also see this level of emotional absence as a serious problem. And if you have ever been the overwhelmed husband in this situation, I would genuinely love to understand what was happening in your mind. submitted by /u/BlueCardigan77
Originally posted by u/BlueCardigan77 on r/AskMen