I’m a 28 y/o male, plenty of experience, but I still haven’t overcome this issue. Physically I’m in shape, I’m a mechanic and go to the gym 3-4 times a week. I do cardio and lift weights. I stopped watching porn years ago, and I don’t do anything that’s considered sexually unhealthy. I’ve had multiple partners, and sometimes this issue isn’t a problem, I’ve had a couple spur of the moment encounters where I didn’t think about it and I lasted quite a long time, but I’ve been seeing a new girl recently who’s been wonderful in every regard and I want to fix this for good. We moved bases slow, but once it came time to go all the way I was extremely nervous and finished almost instantly (PE). Afterwards I just felt worse and worse about it and the next few times were the same way. I talked to her about my anxiety and she was understanding, but she did express she wanted me to figure out how to go longer, and that made me feel even MORE pressured. After that I started to make some progress, the past 3 times we had sex I was extremely anxious, but I was able to use the “start stop” method and after a few times getting to the edge and taking a pause my anxiety faded and I was able to go for awhile with no issues. However now I feel as if I have to live up to that every time as if I set a standard for myself and I feel more pressured to last long every time if that makes sense. Any time she mentions sex I immediately get anxious about it and feel my stomach churn, and worry I won’t be able to live up to the last few times we did it and perform well, and I start thinking “what if I don’t last at all again?” and it feels terrible, but it’s like I can’t help it. Even though I’ve done well the past few times and I know my body is physically capable it still feels like I’m stuck in this cycle and I’m unable to actually be excited about sex instead of scared because I’m afraid of my anxiety ruining it. I do have an anxiety disorder, so this is my main issue, I just get in my head and I’m sick of feeling anxious about sex instead of being excited. I’m looking to get back into therapy, but any advice is appreciated, I feel like I’m torturing myself trying to figure this out. Until now it’s never really bothered me much because I haven’t been in an actual healthy relationship before, and I want to continue having good sex, but I feel afraid of embarrassing myself again. submitted by /u/zachm182
Originally posted by u/zachm182 on r/AskMen