I’m 31F and my partner is 33M. I don’t know I’m making the right decision and scared I’ll regret it. I love him as a person and we have such a good friendship. He’s intelligent, caring, loyal, attractive and kind. He’s a good man but things have been really bad for 1+ year with opiate addiction and his unresolved trauma/depression. It’s brought so much stress and I don’t know if I can go back to the way I use to feel for him due to resentment etc. Also our sex life is gone and has been for a while. I just pleasure myself. We really only have intimacy through a little kiss, holding hands and deep conversations. My libido is higher now I’m ADHD medicated and I want to make out and have sex with my partner, but I don’t feel like I can with him now because I’ve lost that “sexual attraction” due to all the fuckery in our relationship. But I use to have that desire for him. I brought all my feelings up to him re breaking up/that I’m not fulfilled and he reckons I watch too much Gossip Girl - and love isn’t all passionate like on the tv 😂 but I have had a very passionate relationship before granted it wasn’t meant to be. I also feel like he won’t try harder to meet me higher. We’ve both had dark childhoods and it took me a long time to get my shit together, but I finally got there in the end and feel he holds me back in certain ways. He knows I’m fed up and keeps saying things will get better for us and he will change. And he is actively trying hard to get off opiates (going through withdrawals rn) and sort out his mental health. I feel like an asshole if I leave him during his struggle. He doesn’t have any family support and I don’t know how he would afford to live alone. How do I know waiting it out will make it better in the end and get the intimacy back? At this point I feel like he’s my best friend and roomie. How can I love and care for someone but not be in love? I don’t know if my ADHD is just craving dopamine and got me thinking there’s something better out there for me - or if I’m really that unhappy and unsatisfied. In the past my very unhealed self would have found another bloke before leaving, now I’m ready to choose myself and hope for the best in life. But what if this is meant to be and I’m just letting him go? I’m so confused. submitted by /u/luminous__fairy
Originally posted by u/luminous__fairy on r/AskMen