Hi, so gonna prefix this by saying I know a lot of this falls on a failure on my part - I just don’t get this stuff. So my daughter has been living full time with me for about 7-8 years now and is now nearly 16. Mums not really involved in her life so can’t really ask her to have a word etc. So she’s grown up, and started dressing how she wants to which I want to encourage because I know this is a big step in becoming your own adult. This past year or so she’s really got more into the anime thing and started leaning towards that. Sadly this means lots of clothing I don’t feel comfortable with her wearing. I started off addressing it by trying to explain that she’s a bit too young to be presenting herself this way, get the teen reply of ‘this is who I AM’ which I get but also know that every teen feels that way. Every time I raise it it either goes to tears like I’m trying to stop her expressing herself or worse she gets anxiety when I tell her that although I know she’s dressing in a way that makes her feel good I worry about how it can be seen by others outside of her. It’s got to the point where I can’t talk to her about it to avoid any arguments I just say ‘nope’ and won’t allow her to go out until she changes - which feels awful and is exactly what I’m trying to avoid doing. I won’t get into context about what she wears because this is the internet, and I get that anime has certain things. When she goes to conventions I always get to veto her costume ideas and will always be there bored off my face just in case. And in day to day she doesn’t cosplay but leans towards the more kawai kinda thing - and THATS the stuff that gets me worried. Conventions are full of people dressed differently, but in a day to day I worry about the sort of attention it brings when I can’t always be there. She’s a good kid and I want her to feel comfortable with how she dresses, but not at the expense of my duty to look out for her. I’ve asked female relatives to have a word and it went down like lead balloon, even worse than if I did it. So guys, how do you as a male find the balance between letting your kid grow up and feel like they aren’t being held back whilst making sure you’re doing your job as dad? submitted by /u/tiptoes88
Originally posted by u/tiptoes88 on r/AskMen
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