Here’s some context about me and then my relationship In my mid-20s, wake up almost every morning with a typical full morning erection, I eat healthy and workout regularly (gym rat). I used to masturbate almost every day and never had an issue getting or maintaining an erection. After meeting my girlfriend I stopped (only once every or every other week for the sake of getting it out). I do NOT use porn. We have been dating for 4 months and spend 2-4 nights together every week. When we are being intimate and I just focus on enjoying the moment I notice I’m able to get hard and can stay hard for quite a while. However as soon as I think about sex or how hard I am I get nervous and lose it almost immediately. Similarly if I go into intimacy thinking about sex or needing to be hard then I struggle to get hard. I have not been able to get past the point of losing it before penetration. I do have a therapist and I do meditate. I also have learned that receiving is very difficult for me so being on the receiving end of head I would lose it in an instant. I’ve used my hands or my mouth so there can still be an intimate experience even with me struggling, but I’d like to be able to experience more. I do love her and find her physically attractive and if I’m relaxed my body responds to kissing, foreplay, cuddling, or even just basic touching. I know I need to “get out of my head” but that is far easier said than done for me. I do notice that being naked, receiving touch sometimes (not always), and even giving touch (sometimes) all feel vulnerable and raise the nerves a bit. I have told her about all of this of course and she is very supportive. I’m curious how those of you with performance anxiety have gotten past hurdles like this. I’m especially interested in hearing from people who eventually got past this and what actually made the biggest difference. Also curious if anyone with a similar experience has tried something like sensate focus and if it helped. Thanks!!! submitted by /u/WarShadower913x
Originally posted by u/WarShadower913x on r/AskMen