I (29M) am at the point where I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I’m watching my own life fall apart in slow motion, fully aware of what’s happening, but completely unable to stop it. On paper, everything should be fine. I have a stable job, no debt, my car’s tank is always full, and my fridge is always stocked. I help support my parents, and my spouse and I have travelled internationally at least twice a year for the last four years. So why does it feel like I can’t function? My biggest problems are my sleep, my laziness, and what feels like a complete inability to take anything seriously, even when I know I should. Sleep: No matter what I try, I cannot cannot get myself to sleep at a normal time. My workday starts at 11 a.m., yet I regularly don’t make it to my computer until 2 p.m. I’m free from 7 p.m. onwards, but somehow I stay awake until 4 - 6 a.m. almost every night. If I have to wake up early, I just accept that I’ll be surviving on 2-3 hours of sleep because I simply cannot make myself go to bed. It’s like my brain refuses to cooperate, no matter how badly I want it to. Laziness: My nightstand still has empty bottles that have been sitting there since May. Taking a shower should be a 20-minute task, yet I’ll tell myself, “I’ll do it at 2 p.m” and before I know it, it’s midnight and I still haven’t moved. Someone asks me to do a tiny favour around the house? “Yeah, absolutely.” A week later, it still hasn’t happened. Every day is just me making promises to myself that I fully intend to keep… and then somehow I don’t. Cavalier attitude: This is the part that scares me the most. I know something is important, but I don’t feel like it’s important. My partner could be telling me our relationship is on the verge of ending, and somehow my brain would drift to thinking about how tomorrow’s rain will be good for the plants. My boss gave me something on 13/05 that’s genuinely important for my career. It’s now 29/07, and I still haven’t done it. Not because I don’t care – I do. I just… don’t act. That’s what I can’t understand. It’s like there’s a disconnect between what I want and what I actually do. I know the consequences. I know what needs to be done. I want to do it. But when the moment comes, my brain just refuses to engage. Jesus Christ, I feel like I’m losing my mind. I don’t want to live like this anymore. I want to be reliable. I want to have discipline. I want to be the kind of husband, son, employee, and person that I know I’m capable of being. Instead, I spend every day watching opportunities, responsibilities, and time slip through my fingers while I sit there wondering why I can’t just get up and do the thing. Has anyone else been like this and actually managed to turn it around? Because I’m genuinely scared that if I don’t figure this out soon, I’m going to waste my life. Edit for everyone suggesting the military: I’m not American. submitted by /u/ImTheOneWhoCoughs
Originally posted by u/ImTheOneWhoCoughs on r/AskMen
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