I’m looking for advice and support from other men who have been through something similar. It’s been a little over six weeks since my relationship of almost seven years ended, and I’m still struggling to process what happened. My ex and I built a life together. We raised my son together. Technically, he is my stepson, but that word doesn’t come close to describing what he means to me. I have been his dad since he was a baby. He calls me dad, and he doesn’t even know I’m not his biological father. To him, I am the person who was there every day. I picked him up from school, tucked him in every night, ran around the house laughing with him until bedtime, taught him things, comforted him, and watched him grow. I got to be part of his childhood and watch him become his own person. I watched him love me, trust me, and look to me as his dad. Being his father figure has been one of the greatest privileges of my life. I became the father I never had. Providing for him, protecting him, and taking care of my family gave me a sense of pride, responsibility, and purpose that I had never felt before. Coming home to them every day was what made everything else in life feel worth it. What makes this so confusing is that our relationship didn’t feel like it was falling apart. This past year was honestly one of the best years we ever had. We were happy, we traveled, we made memories, we talked about the future, and we made plans for the life we wanted to build together. Then, a few days before Father’s Day, she told me she had checked out and was done. It felt like she had been carrying those feelings alone while I was still fully invested in us and the family we built. She’s moving out today, and I’ll be moving into my own place in a few weeks. I’m grieving more than just losing a relationship. I’m grieving the loss of my family, my home, and the role that meant the most to me: being a dad. I miss the little things more than anything. Walking through the door and hearing his voice. Family dinners. Bedtime routines. The laughter in the house. The hugs. Being the person he came to when he needed comfort. Those moments were my life. We had an incredible relationship. Every day I felt like the luckiest man alive. No matter what stress or struggles I had, I always thought, “How can I be unhappy? I have this incredible family waiting for me at home.” I’m doing everything I can to get through this. I’m in therapy, taking medication, journaling, and trying to take care of myself. But this has been the hardest thing I have ever experienced. I lost almost 20 pounds, struggled to eat and sleep, and spent weeks trapped in an anxiety loop. I’m hoping to hear from other men who have experienced losing not only a partner, but a family they built. Especially men who have lost a child they raised and loved as their own. How did you cope? How did you find your identity and purpose again when the role that meant the most to you was suddenly taken away? submitted by /u/extranoodlesboi
Originally posted by u/extranoodlesboi on r/AskMen