27 now and broke up with my first gf when I was 19, we dated for 1 1/2 years. Had some ups & downs… I was her first “good guy” I guess you can say. We went to high school together & I had always wanted to date her back then. She transferred but we kept in contact and after graduation that’s when we were official. I joined the military but that didn’t work out so I came home and we figured it out. Along the way, I met her mom and her mom was always big on her kids either joining the military or marrying military. About 7-8 months later, she broke up with me over a argument and weeks later, I found out she was seeing a military guy who was once married to a girl that we both were friends with in high school. We had always joked that she was with a guy that looked identical to me but older. Fast forward, they got married to him know and they have kids now. I’ve had situationships and 2 different relationships since then, both 1 1/2 respectively. My issue is, since breaking up with my first gf at 19, I have since felt the feeling of disappointment bc Im not where I would’ve expected to be as of 27. Especially where I would like to be overall. I blamed myself for not being where I should’ve been at the time for her and it makes me mad bc I had always envisioned us being together like high school sweethearts kinda thing and she did too at one point. I’ve acknowledged that things change. Now I currently have a relationship about to reach 2 years. Yet I still have these thoughts and feelings of that I’m failing and not where I expected myself to be in general and also where I expected myself to be at 27, back when I was with my first gf( hopefully that makes sense). Idk if it’s me having the belief that if I were to cross paths with them again that they’d be glad that they left bc I’m not where we once had talked about being and that I’m not where I wanted to be. I don’t think it’s normal that to still be thinking of a first relationship from that long ago and comparing yourself and your aspirations to your current self and life, but I’d love to hear advice or suggestions on how to get over that. Been in therapy, reading books, enjoying life, but still every now and then I’ll get these waves of disappointment in myself. EDIT: I don’t feel like miss her or wish we were back together. I’m more in the boat of wanting to outgrowing that younger version of me during that time/post that experience. I guess you can use the terms “wanting to level up in life” but realizing I haven’t gotten to where I had envisioned back during that time while with her submitted by /u/cobcorn45000
Originally posted by u/cobcorn45000 on r/AskMen