I’m looking for honest perspectives, especially from men who have been in my ex’s position. My ex and I were together for about 10 months. He ended the relationship because he said his feelings had gradually faded. He told me it wasn’t because of anything I did, that I was “perfect”, that I gave him hope in women again after a previous toxic relationship, that he respected me deeply and cared about me. He also said he genuinely enjoys being alone right now. The main issue according to him was that our emotional conversations became exhausting for him over time. Early in the relationship he praised my emotional intelligence, but later he said all the “feelings talk” became overwhelming and that it contributed to him losing feelings. Since the breakup we’ve been a bit on and off. We’ve had periods of no contact, then talked again, but never officially got back together. A few days ago we unexpectedly ran into each other on a night out. He thought I was there with another guy and later admitted it stung and that he felt jealous. He walked me home, stayed the night, we talked for hours, cried together, had sex, and he told me he had missed me, that I was his safe place, that he loved holding me and even said he was in love with me.The next morning he kissed me goodbye and was very affectionate. A day later I reached out and told him it had been nice waking up next to him. He said it had been nice for him too. I then asked if he’d like to go to the movies with me. His response was felt like a polite no, and he didn’t suggest another day. That’s what has confused me the most. When we’re together, he seems to genuinely enjoy my company. We laugh, talk for hours, he’s affectionate, says beautiful things and we have great chemistry. But when it comes to actually rebuilding a relationship—or even doing something simple like going to the movies—it feels like he pulls away. So my question is mainly for men who have been in a similar position: Have you ever genuinely enjoyed spending time with your ex, enjoyed the intimacy and sex, cared about and respected her, but still not wanted a relationship with her? If so, why? What was missing that made you not want her back as your girlfriend, even though you clearly enjoyed being with her? Did you already know deep down that you didn’t want the relationship, or were you confused yourself? I’m not looking for false hope. I’m genuinely trying to understand this mindset because from the other side it feels incredibly confusing. I can’t understand how someone can enjoy being with me so much but still not choose a relationship with me. submitted by /u/heartbrokengurlx
Originally posted by u/heartbrokengurlx on r/AskMen