Over the last few years I’ve realized that, for the most part, we’re responsible for protecting our own peace and self-respect. Because of that I’ve been trying to become more assertive instead of just keeping everyone happy. I’ve had mixed results. A coworker was disrespecting me, so I calmly told them it wasn’t okay. They actually changed their behavior afterward. But when I’ve done something similar with family for example calling out my mom when I believed she was lying it turned into yelling, insults, and days of tension. I’ve had similar experiences with my dad. It’s left me wondering whether I’m becoming healthier by standing up for myself, or whether I’m just creating unnecessary conflict. For the men here who used to avoid confrontation but eventually became more assertive: What changed your mindset? Did you lose relationships because of it? How did you learn the difference between protecting your self-respect and simply reacting emotionally? Looking back, is there anything you wish you’d done differently? I’m interested in hearing your experiences submitted by /u/jatzb
Originally posted by u/jatzb on r/AskMen