I was replying on another post, and it struck me as I was telling the below story: I was dating a woman for SIX MONTHS, and around month six, she just walked up to me, squeezed my face, gave me a smooch, and went, “I love you SO MUCH!” I’m so conditioned to believe I’m a sack of shit, unworthy of being loved, and that no woman with other options would ever find me attractive, that I still think she was either throwing me a bone, or had fucked something else up, and was trying to prepare me for the admission by buttering me up beforehand. Even years later, it STILL doesn’t occur to me to think she was just feeling lovey-dovey, and wanted to let me know how much she was into me. She must have been misbehaving, or wanted something from me. As I think back to the past 7 months of dating experience for me, and the 1-2 first dates a week I’ve been on in that time, I’ve realized that not once during that time have I gotten ANY indication she finds me attractive, at ALL. I suppose ‘she agreed to the date and showed up’ counts (maybe? I’m so out of practice I’m not even sure it counts), but as far as me leaving the date, going, “Oh, she made it pretty clear she’s into me, so this could maybe go somewhere,” that hasn’t happened. Like, at all. I’m completely willing to admit I might just be fundamentally broken, and the damage is so severe that the combined efforts of myself and a good dozen different therapists over the years can’t figure out what it is, or how to fix it, but that doesn’t help me. So how did you guys undo years or decades of conditioning that you’re an unloveable, unattractive pos, unworthy of being loved? submitted by /u/Fit_Salamander_2814
Originally posted by u/Fit_Salamander_2814 on r/AskMen