I’ve had my weight in constant fluctuations. At 18 I stopped being a couch potato and got a warehouse job and lost 50lbs in three months. A couple months later I got another warehouse job and lost another 20lbs over the next few months. My weight hovered around 180-200lbs for the next few years. Mid-twenties I started going to the gym for a couple years, 5-6 days a week. Mostly cardio and weight machines. I was pretty lanky at that point and had some mild definition but didn’t want to bulk up because in a weird way that made me feel fat again. Stayed around 190-210lbs. After a couple years I stopped going but kept my weight around the same. This is when I noticed my weight start to fluctuate like crazy. I did eat pretty terribly (gas station burritos, take out, HEAVY drinking, little to no sleep). I also had a lot of personal things going on so was constantly under a lot of stress to the point where I had to start going to the dentist because I was damaging my teeth grinding and clenching in my sleep. Work was also very physical. Weight shot up to 220lbs at most. Crazy thing was that I would gain weight while I got stressed, notice I got bigger then lose another 10lbs stressing over weight gain. Around my late twenties I cut back drinking and started eating less and I was rewarded with a balloon payment of 70lbs+ weight gain. [I was also on antidepressants for a year but when i checked in with my doc he said it shouldn’t have been that much or stayed on for that long] I felt like it happened over a couple months. I even got scared at how rapid it all happened. Its been about seven years since then and I’ve lost about 30s-40lbs of that weight but it’s never permanent. All the things I’ve tried before to lose weight that worked prior seem to be completely ineffective now. Dieting and exercise don’t seem to cut it like it used to. I’m concerned this is just how it will be from now on. When I look in the mirror I have no confidence left. I feel like my body has just stretched out beyond the point of repair. I know what happens when you lose a ton of weight rapidly and am afraid sometimes to even keep going, knowing that I’ll be even more disgusted with my body after the weight-loss. I know the bigger picture is what’s worth looking forward to but I’m so afraid I won’t even be able to enjoy it if i can’t even feel confident taking my shirt off at the beach. It’s kind of funny because when I ballooned up the last time, even though I was bigger, I feel like my body was so large I filled out properly and felt like a big, confident, bearish looking guy lol. Now I feel like a big bag of mush that can’t fit into last year’s pair of jeans despite all the efforts to drop back down. Im trying to keep my head up and keep going but its so hard when you put on your favorite shirt you finally fit into again and someone takes a Pic and all you see is how much your body isn’t bouncing back the way you thought it would. Sorry, I know this is a long rant. Idk what im really asking for but I guess maybe hearing someone else’s journey might help bring back that gusto I’ve lost along the way and keep me on track. Looking forward to any responses. submitted by /u/SickofROOM8s
Originally posted by u/SickofROOM8s on r/AskMen