I know this is going to be controversial and I’ll probably get downvoted into oblivion, but after reading dating threads here I genuinely wonder how many men are just completely blind to the obvious reasons why they struggle. You constantly see guys saying things like: “I’m tall.” “I go to the gym.” “I have a good job.” “I dress well.” “I’m nice.” “I’m confident.” And then: “Why do women still not want me?” But somehow the most obvious question is almost never asked: are you actually attractive to the women you’re trying to date? I feel like people will analyse absolutely everything except their face and overall appearance. Confidence, personality, hobbies, salary, social skills, Switzerland being cold, women having unrealistic standards, dating apps being broken… everything gets discussed before someone considers that maybe they’re simply not generating much physical attraction. And I understand why. Your physique can be improved. Your clothes can be changed. You can earn more money, become more social, improve your confidence. Your face is largely something you were born with, so it’s probably the hardest thing to honestly evaluate and accept. The other thing I notice is that almost every guy describes himself as “average looking.” Almost nobody ever says “I’m probably below average.” Somehow 90% of Reddit is average or slightly above average. And being tall or muscular doesn’t automatically make you attractive either. A 190 cm guy with a great body can still have an average or unattractive face. Those things help, obviously, but they don’t magically override everything else. I’m also not saying unattractive men can’t date or find relationships. Obviously they can. There’s a huge difference between being able to eventually find a partner and having women regularly show interest in you, having options and being able to be selective. That’s what I think gets lost in these discussions. Sometimes there isn’t some deep psychological explanation. Sometimes you’re not “too nice.” Sometimes Switzerland isn’t uniquely against you. Sometimes your confidence isn’t secretly radiating the wrong energy. Sometimes the women you want just don’t find you attractive enough. And weirdly, I think accepting that can actually be healthier than spending years inventing increasingly complicated explanations for why dating isn’t working. Curious how people here see it. Do you think men are generally realistic about their own attractiveness, or do most people avoid thinking about it because it’s uncomfortable? submitted by /u/Objective-Custard-65
Originally posted by u/Objective-Custard-65 on r/Switzerland