Hey, I’m looking for some insight from the men here about performance anxiety and delayed ejaculation. I (F/27) recently started dating a guy (M/25), and the sex is incredible. Honestly, it’s some of the best sex I’ve ever had. The only thing that has been making me overthink a little is that he has only finished once since we started seeing each other, and that was because I explicitly asked him to try. I ended up asking some of my male friends what they thought could be going on, and they suggested it sounded like some kind of performance anxiety. I didn’t really understand how that would work, so I decided to talk to him about it instead of making assumptions. I told him that sometimes it seemed like he was prioritizing my pleasure over his, and that seeing him enjoy himself and finish would actually make things even better for me. He reassured me that it has nothing to do with me, how much he likes me, or how attracted he is to me. He explained that some general life stress has been affecting him in different areas of his life, including sex. He said he constantly feels like he is about to finish, but just can’t get over that final edge. He also told me that finishing with me that one time was something he hadn’t been able to do in a long time. I didn’t want to keep asking questions and potentially make him uncomfortable, so I left it at that. What makes this a little confusing for me is that everything else seems to work completely fine. We can have sex for a long time, he rarely gets soft, and he can get hard pretty much immediately. He seems very engaged and like he’s enjoying himself, so I’m having a hard time understanding what is happening internally for him. For men who have experienced something similar, what does it actually feel like when you’re trying to finish but can’t? Is it really possible to feel like you’re right there but somehow just not be able to get over that final edge? And if this is related to stress or performance anxiety, is there anything a partner can do that actually helps, or is the best thing to do just take the pressure off and let it happen naturally? TL;DR: I’m dating a guy and the sex is amazing, but he has only climaxed once despite being hard, engaged, and able to have sex for a long time. He says he often feels like he’s about to finish but can’t get over the final edge, and that general life stress may be affecting him. He reassured me it has nothing to do with me or his attraction to me. submitted by /u/ThrowRAFamous_AD
Originally posted by u/ThrowRAFamous_AD on r/AskMen
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