My husband and I have been together for 20 years and have a 15 year old. The last 6-7 years I’ve had a lot of chronic health issues with each specialty playing ping pong with diagnoses, we did find some chronic gastritis and endometriosis all throughout my pelvis, cysts, fibroids (surgery next month to remove all this). The problem is because I’ve spent so many years in various states of inflammation, I don’t have the energy or bandwidth or drive for sex the last year or so. I love my husband and I’m attracted to him but I’ve associated any intimacy with pain, bc it usually results in pain during or later or for days after. We had a pretty active sex life despite all that up until about a year ago, I think my body is struggling to recover more and more. I don’t think my husband is bad or a monster for still having a sex drive, to him the woman he’s known for 20 years is not only falling apart and he can’t fix it but being sexually unavailable to him is a big change. We are intimate 2 times a week most weeks, sometimes 3 times a week. He is upset bc it’s become routine, a pattern, there’s no excitement, there’s no change and any intimacy is becoming more and more restricted bc of the pain it causes me physically. I’ve suggested therapy, he won’t. I suggested a sex therapist, he won’t. I went to our pastor and his wife who replied to me ‘never in my 35 years…’ meaning no one has ever brought up their intimacy struggles within the church and that to me is a contributing factor why the divorce rate is so high. These are modern problems that no one feels they have anyone to talk to about it, meanwhile it grows. submitted by /u/Own_Independence8274
Originally posted by u/Own_Independence8274 on r/AskMen
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