Probably within the past 2 years I’ve dated 3 people. For context I’m M21 some with borderline personality disorder. They also had depression, anxiety and they were anxiously attached. They had autism too but that doesn’t matter in this context. Someone who has never gotten along with their parents but gets long more with their sibling or friends. Someone who had an emotionally quite lonely upbringing. The kind of childhood where she processed things internally and didn’t feel supported or seen. Also when I was alot younger so probably 15 I dated a girl who didn’t speak to her dad and cut him out when she was younger Like I don’t purposely choose these people I just find myself getting to know them more often than not. I know what woman I want just by looking but I couldn’t exactly tell u. Like once I met this girl at a party, she was nice and we exchanged phone number. I dropped her home after the party ended but had no interest in messaging her or carrying the conversation on. Friends had said why didn’t you continue things she was nice don’t u think ? I’ve also noticed that I just seem to naturally get along with people who’ve been through something. I’m not sure if I’m drawn to them or they’re drawn to me, probably both. I don’t find myself connecting as easily with people who haven’t had those kinds of experiences. The girl from the party is a good example nice person, we exchanged numbers, I dropped her home, but I had zero interest in continuing it. I couldn’t tell you exactly why. I also think I understand why it happens from their side. If you’ve grown up feeling unheard, unsupported, or like you had to handle everything alone — you’re naturally going to be drawn to someone who feels safe, steady and genuinely interested in who you are. I think I might just come across that way and so I become someone they feel comfortable opening up to. When you’ve spent a long time not feeling safe or understood, you recognise it immediately when you find someone who offers that — and you hold onto it. And believe me I’ve heard some sad stores ! submitted by /u/NewFoot762
Originally posted by u/NewFoot762 on r/AskMen