I have read enough of the research to understand the truth behind this line by singer Sia: “I know, ive heard that to let your feelings show is the only way to make friendships grow…” And the line ends with “But I’m too afraid now.” I am a gay man. Expressions of feeling and vulnerability are far more normalized in the LGBTQ circles in which I run. Sure, there are plenty of LGBTQ people who take advantage of that vulnerability, but our identities as queer men are not inherently in question when we disclose feelings. That is an advantage that I perceive most cishet men do not have-- and perhaps even many gay men. Im curious, is this perception of mine true for you? Are you unable to express your genuine feelings about things without tremendous risk? If so, first off, im not here to pressure or convince or lecture anyone to be vulnerable. I think most men would be vulnerable with their loved ones if it was genuinely safe for them to do so, and it is an absolutely rational response to the lack of emotional safety men experience that they remain closed up. But at the same time, if this is true, it leaves men in a double bind. The only way to make their relationships grow is to reveal their feelings-- but revealing their feelings subjects them to a huge risk of rejection, stigma and exploitation. So is this true? Is your environment unsafe for you to be vulnerable? If so what would you need from your spouses/partners, families, friends, other loved ones, and support networks to signal to you that it’s safe to open up? submitted by /u/Briyyzie
Originally posted by u/Briyyzie on r/AskMen
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