Hello, I’m sorry if this is a stupid question, but I’ve had this happen multiple times. When my male friends are going through some shit, I try to emotionally support them because I love them and I want to be a good friend. I listen to them, help with thinking of solutions for their problems, talk them through their feelings, check in with them how they’re doing, ask how they’re feeling, if there’s any way I can help etc. This is not a weird or exceptional thing for me (and I think a lot of women) to do, I do the same for all my girl friends, and they for me. I try to foster a social environment where all of my friends can be themselves, don’t have to mask or pretend that things are fine when they’re not and can be vulnerable etc. I spend a lot of time and effort on maintaining my friendships, giving emotional support, organizing fun things to do, connecting friends with other friends I think they would vibe well with etc. I like to talk a lot with my friends, especially about deeper stuff so I don’t mind spending a lot of time doing this. The problem is that multiple times a guy friend who I’ve (emotionally) supported through a tough time (got fired, girlfriend broke up with them, someone died, etc) somehow developed romantic feelings for me and tried to shoot their shot after a while. This is confusing to me because I’m not a flirty/touchy person and I’m also aromantic which I’m pretty open about. It’s also frustrating because the friendship never goes back to how it was before, it just becomes awkward and uncomfortable. It makes me feel like I can’t be friends with men, at least not in the way I am with women because even though they know I don’t like them romantically, they still try. I try to be a good platonic friend and then I just get girlfriendzoned? Logically I know I can’t really prevent people from developing feelings, which often happens involuntarily, but a part of me feels like I can’t be emotionally intimate with male friends because they equate/confuse emotional intimacy/support with romantic feelings. It just makes me feel sad. I would like to hear from you guys how you experience these kind of things/navigate emotionally intimate/supportive friendships with women. Do you develop romantic feelings when you feel emotionally supported Is there anything a female friend can do prevent this?Are there other ways you’d rather be supported that’s maybe less confusing? Etc. submitted by /u/potatochique
Originally posted by u/potatochique on r/AskMen