This is weird to say since I’m a guy, but my closest friend is a girl, and we’re both teenagers. I honestly dont have much experience with super close long-term male friendships. I’m writing a sci-fantasy story where two of my main characters(a prince and his bodyguard) are ride or die, buds for life, thick as thieves, and I want their relationship to feel authentic. At one point the prince discovers how extensive his friend(also his bodyguard)’s trauma goes and learns he was forced into lifelong celibacy when he was young. So out of solidarity, the prince takes the same vow. While I thought it was cool at first, I wasn’t sure(still not) if a gesture that big would be believable for a male friendship. Would someone really give up their “manliness” for a friend like that? Is that extreme? So I scrapped it and decided to focus on the small things, but none of the dynamics I came up with ever felt natural. I’ve had guy friends before, but only one long term one, and we were never close. From what I’ve observed from the women around me, in female friendships there’s a lot of emotional intimacy, long conversations about anything and everything, brutal honesty, safety, and physical affection. (I’ve seen some girls literally platonically cuddle at sleepovers or on the couch). They can also read each other’s minds, which is annoying when I’m somehow supposed to pick up on it. (No, Susie, a glare is a glare, how am I supposed to know it means you’re hungry?). My hypothesis 🤓 is that the deepest male friendships have an equal amount of emotional depth(that transcends age and gender and literally everything), but it shows up differently? Am I on the right track here? Maybe I’m talking too much. I don’t want to sound like Im generalizing. I’m not talking about regular friends. I can write those, I’ve had regular friends and I’ve seen examples of them. What I’m specifically referring to is the attached-at-the-hip, ride or die friendship where you can see two dudes walking down the street and just tell “…yeah, they’re close.” I can identify it just fine with women, but it always goes over my head with guys. I’ll TLDR: So to my fellow bros, what are your closest male friendships like? What are the subtle(or big) things that just SCREAM “that’s my brother” energy in guys, whether it’s a past relationship or one that you’ve witnessed. Bonus questions I’m curious about(but can totally be skipped) Do you feel comfortable being physically affectionate? Like laying against your friend or messing with their hair or sharing a plate/cup of water(some of the things my sisters/female friends have done with each other)? Why or why not? Do you talk to him often, or is it more distant-close. Like, you can just pick up a random topic after not talking for 3 months, disappear, and then poof back into existence 5 months later. 3. Do friendships change with age? Obviously people mature and all that, but does the dynamic change at all? Let me be clear, I’m NOT asking for writing/relationship advice, and I’m sorry if I framed it that way. All of that was what I think is necessary context on my thought process. I don’t know if I sound like an iPad kid who sits at home and watches TV all day but I can assure you I have, in fact, touched grass. But only through a pair of oven mitts, I‘m not a monster. Also no, I’m not saying all men and women are a hivemind and think and act the same. submitted by /u/Upbeat_Tea_1461
Originally posted by u/Upbeat_Tea_1461 on r/AskMen