Hey everyone. I’m a 21-year-old guy, and I’ve struggled with anxiety for a long time. I tend to overthink everything, and I’m also pretty socially awkward. A few months ago, I asked someone at my university if they wanted to hang out, and it ended up being pretty awkward. Since then, I’ve been scared of putting myself in that situation again. At the same time, I really want to improve my social skills and actually make some friends. There’s a guy I see at my gym about once a week. I don’t know his exact age, but I’d guess he’s around 28–32. I once saw him at the local post office wearing an army uniform, so I’m guessing he’s in the military. A few months ago, I saw him at the gym and he nodded at me, so I nodded back. We didn’t really interact after that, and I didn’t see him again until last week. We both nodded at each other again, but we’ve never actually talked. Today, I decided to try to get out of my shell despite being really anxious. I walked up to him and gave him a dap. He dapped me back and said, “What up, what up?” I just said what’s up back and continued with my workout. We didn’t really have a conversation, and eventually I left. Honestly, I’d really like to become friends with this guy. I’d like to eventually hang out, do typical bro stuff, grab food, work out together, etc. But I’m terrified of actually trying to take things further. I’m scared of asking him to hang out and making things awkward again. I’m also worried that I’ll be the one who wants a friendship while he doesn’t, and I really don’t want to put myself through that rejection. Part of me thinks I should just let things happen naturally and see if we eventually start talking. But another part of me knows that if I never actually make an effort, nothing is probably going to happen. I definitely feel too anxious to just walk up and start a conversation out of nowhere, even though I want to. I honestly don’t know what the normal “process” of becoming friends with someone is, especially when you only see them once a week. What would you recommend I do? Should I just let things naturally develop, or should I try to slowly start talking to him and build a friendship? And how would you personally approach this situation without making it awkward? TL;DR: I’m a 21-year-old guy with pretty bad anxiety who wants to make friends. There’s a guy I see once a week at my gym who seems friendly, and we’ve started nodding/dapping each other up, but we’ve never actually talked. I’d really like to become friends with him, but I’m scared of making things awkward or being rejected. How should I approach this? submitted by /u/Ok_Sprinkles_7179
Originally posted by u/Ok_Sprinkles_7179 on r/AskMen