Original Reddit post

I’m a single mum to a 2-year-old son. His dad lives overseas, and while they do FaceTime occasionally, he isn’t financially supporting him or really helping in any other practical way. I’ve come to accept that I don’t think he is ever going to step up and be an actively involved father. My son is now starting to ask about his dad, and I’m trying to work out the healthiest way to navigate this as he gets older. My plan is to never hide his dad from him. I want him to know who his biological father is and be able to have contact with him if his dad wants that. But at the same time, I don’t want to create expectations around a relationship that his dad isn’t actually willing to build. His dad also talks about connecting with him spiritually/through astral projection, but I struggle with that because ultimately my son needs someone who is physically present in his life. He needs people he can actually see, talk to, spend time with and build relationships with. So I guess my question is: how do you navigate this as a single mum? Do I simply allow his dad to exist in his life from a distance while making sure he has other positive male role models around him? Do I need to consciously seek out a “father figure”, or is it better to let those relationships develop naturally through family, friends, sport, mentors etc.? And for those who grew up without an actively involved father, what did your mum do that helped — or what do you wish she had done differently? I’m particularly interested in hearing from people who have been in this situation themselves. submitted by /u/Different-Many5119

Originally posted by u/Different-Many5119 on r/AskMen