I feel less of a man and insecure. In my country a lot of the second or first generation immigrants grow up in ghettos or in the street culture where all the different stuff happens, fights gangs , chaotic stuff good and bad. I lived outside the ghetto in a normal house middle class. Never been good with making friends or socializing and barely have any friends today or ever. I’ve grown up in the more civil side of life while always looking at curiosity at the ghetto/ street culture. It also means I never been in fights when I was 14-20 never had violent conflict or group fights or any friends that been in that. Meanwhile my younger brothers both are twins have been know about it and have confidence to call out thugs or stuff if they feel threatened or know people who will have their back or who has connections. I’m 3 years older 25 now. I remember in my version of highschool my only friend (who I kept putting aside because I wanted friends like the ones who bullied me and I didn’t realized he was a real friend until now ) he had me dragged into a conflict. He had me write to the guy he had a conflict with and ask him what’s his deal is and what to write etc then that guy had one of his friend message me and he wanted to meet and kept asking where are you , calling me and stuff. My friend who apparently had strong confidence even tho I didn’t think he seemed like someone who knew about street life , messaged that guy and talked and stuff and tried talking me up and that Im dangerous. That guy ( the one who messaged me , said he is dangerous too ) and I guess I was afraid or intimidated because he wanted to meet likely to fight or make me submit, and I just decided to apologize to end the conflict and he said good don’t forget who you fuck with and it was when I was 17 and just started high school ( gymnasium) I guess still bothers me. In my country a lot of the street thugs and ghetto raised peolle are from Middle East or Pakistan and they seem to know eveything about evey conflxit even if in another region or state. If they ever have conflict they have a klan of 10 + people to bakx them even alot of those that don’t do crime or only had violence in the high school years. I feel very incomplete or undeveloped because I never had such conflicts or fighting or sorted something out at night or gotten beaten and made me sensitive to Indtimidating looking people and I have no friends or network and I dont know how get the sort of friends who would have my bakx and has good network too who don’t do these bad things but understand the street culture. I can’t even do much conversations with these types because a lot of topics I don’t know anything about Only idea I have is start kick boxing and another martial arts and find out there else I don’t know I’m too afraid of getting hurt and to stand up to thugs or stuff if they gonna hurt someone Any advice for me ? submitted by /u/Ok_Drummer6347
Originally posted by u/Ok_Drummer6347 on r/AskMen