(23M, medicine student) I feel caught between three forces: my identity, my vision of the future, and the specific person I’ve fallen in love with. For a long time, I’ve had a strong desire to one day have a wife, children, and a stable family;to be a “provider,” someone solid who offers security. At the same time, I’m still a student, financially and professionally far from the version of myself I imagine becoming, so I often feel like I’m not enough yet. I’m also attracted to men, and I’m currently in a FWB relationship with a man who is about 20 years older than me…an extremely successful and wealthy lawyer, incredibly good-looking, and very mentally stable, clear, and composed. Formally, we’re not in a relationship and there’s no exclusivity, but I’ve become emotionally attached much more deeply than I initially admitted to myself. With him, I feel admired and safe, yet at the same time inferior, because he already embodies everything I’m still trying to build. There’s a strong inner conflict in me: one part of me wants a traditional family structure with a woman and a clearly defined path, while another part feels a deep connection to him and is drawn to his maturity, success, and confidence(has happened once before, that I was madly in love with a guy but eventually things ended). The hardest part is that I’m neither truly free nor truly committedI feel more than I’m “supposed to” in a FWB arrangement, but I’m afraid to ask for more because I fear rejection and because I believe I’m not yet on his level. My pain isn’t just about being in love; it’s about the fear that I will eventually have to choose a direction and, in doing so, confront who I truly am and what kind of life I genuinely want. submitted by /u/WeirdSock7151
Originally posted by u/WeirdSock7151 on r/AskMen