I feel like I’m at war with myself. The chemistry between me and this man is intense. I’m not exaggerating when I say it feels insane. We’ve known each other for 10 years. When I’m with him, I feel things in my body and heart that I’ve never felt before. He makes me feel desired, safe, alive. The connection feels deep not just sexual, but emotional too. He is very sexually open. He even suggested I could get a girlfriend and bring another woman into things. And honestly? I didn’t even mind the idea. That’s what scares me. Because five years ago, I stopped dealing with women. I made that decision intentionally. I’m trying to align myself spiritually. I believe in God. I’ve been trying to discipline myself and move toward the kind of life that leads to marriage and stability. I’ve been trying to be intentional. But with him… I feel thrilled. Excited. Awakened. The chemistry is so strong that sometimes it overrides my logic. And then afterward I sit there questioning myself. Am I compromising my values? Or am I just finally experiencing passion? Is this temptation pulling me off my path? Or is this just me being human? I don’t judge him for who he is. He’s honest about being sexual and open. But I feel like I’m split in two the woman who wants to live aligned with her faith and long-term goals, and the woman who feels electric around him. And I don’t know which version of me is the “real” one. How do you know when you’re betraying yourself versus when you’re just growing and evolving? I feel confused, but I also feel deeply attached. And that’s the part that scares me the most. He also seems like he’s in exploration stage and not in a mindset for marriage too so it’s all these things that are on my mind… submitted by /u/Healing_2
Originally posted by u/Healing_2 on r/AskMen
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