Original Reddit post

I’ve recently just turned 24, and ive noticed that making friends and interacting with people in ways I used to, to attempt to become friends with them seems to be becoming incredibly difficult. I can talk to people and engage in chats with people but it just seems more awkward? And I dont make it awkward because I get instant embarrassment the second I say something stupid. But even at work I can talk to the people there but they’re all 2-3x my age which makes me view them as more like work mates than “friends”. This isnt just a problem im running into in person either. This is a thing online too. I like to game and play my fair share of them. But even just engaging with people online now seems really awkward now. Rather than before id just turn my mic on and talk and eventually id make a couple chill friends online. Or in person in College I was able to just introduce myself to people in a friendly way and ask them if they wanted to hang out and now it just seems incredibly difficult for me to even bring myself to do that. Let alone actually get around to the part about asking them. Anyways just wondering if this is happening to anyone else and if so… what helps? Because id like to make new friends and part of me is scared about “trusting people” but ALSO just interacting with them. Like I dont wanna give them a bad impression of me. Thanks all. submitted by /u/SafeManufacturer978

Originally posted by u/SafeManufacturer978 on r/AskMen

  • BananaTrifleViolin@lemmy.world
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    3 hours ago

    I think what changes is what people give back. When youre young everyone is eager to please and awkward, so they seem receptive to interactions. As you getnolder, people.learn they can just give signs and queues that they dont want to be bothered.

    At work you both have to be there, so people engage and want to keep things positive. At college and school even, its somewhat similar. But in the rest of life, ypure now crossing paths with people who are doing their own thing. When you reach out to them, youre cutring in to whatever focus or path they were on. It becomes awkwars because youre reaching out but they’re not in that headspace for meetinf new people.

    You can still make new friends as you get older. I think the best way is to do it at places where people are expecring to meet new people - clubs, activities, sports etc. Gaming is one but its a wierd one - you will meet people who want to sovialise and people who dont. But dont expect to meet people.on the streets, or in the supermarket or in the gym etc. It really has to be places where pepple are in the “Im here to meet people” mood. Even bars and clubs can be mkre difficult these days as so many pepple gp to socialise with their current friends and not meet new people.

    And of course on top of all that is the awkwardneess of “is this person hitting on me?”. That is amplified in non socialising spaces.

    So tl;dr - its harder because the venues become more restricted but ita doable of you go to the right places