Hi y’all. 35 year old dude here, and newly expecting father to my firstborn. Feeling incredibly excited about life and that my wife is finally pregnant after years of trying. But in the words of Arthur Morgan, “I’m afraid.” I’m a recovering alcoholic and addict. I had a weird childhood that left me with a lot of depression and anger I left untreated til I finally started taking medication at 30…and immediately shot it all to hell with three years of binge drinking. Thankfully, I’ll be two years sober next month; I hit a couple breaking points, decided I wanted to quit being a shitty husband and give 100% to being a loving, present, and sober dad to my kid. The uncertainty of not knowing whether or not I’d be a dad one day was rough but it’s worth it to be here today and I can’t wait to be there for my family. It’s just I’ve started doing a lot more thinking about how little of a fuck I gave a few years ago and how much my life revolved around self-sabotage, substance abuse, or destruction. It’s like I wanted to believe in myself and fought for more out of life, but I always struggled with feelings of complete fear that if I’m happy, or anything good happens, there will just be a rain cloud in the distance to ruin it, metaphorically. And now that I have the best news in the world and I should be completely enjoying it, I’m rattled with anxiety. I completely give a fuck now. I just want to be the best I can be for my family, but I’m so scared and constantly overthinking worst case scenarios. All I ever do is work, spend time with my wife, and play video games or music to distract myself. Deep down I can’t stop stressing out. I can’t stop feeling sad when I see even the tiniest depressing things (like those damn shelter dog commercials). Men, I can’t keep waking up and letting this overwhelming sensation last forever. I have to do better and be my family’s rock. I’m not afraid to admit that I need help sometimes and I plan on seeing a therapist in the near future to address a few things and keep working on my mental health. I just want to handle it on my own. I know that’s not entirely feasible anymore. Any advice? submitted by /u/dunnie31
Originally posted by u/dunnie31 on r/AskMen