I’m 33M and today has been rough. I’ve realized recently that there are so many little relationship things I can’t even remember the last time I experienced. I can’t remember the last time I felt genuinely loved by a partner. I can’t remember the last time I cuddled someone all night. I can’t remember the last time a woman made me dinner just because she wanted to. I honestly can’t remember the last time I dated someone and didn’t feel like I was the one keeping everything moving. I date. I get matches. I get second, third, fifth dates. Women are attracted to me. I’ve had sex and intimacy and connections that seemed like they were going somewhere. But they never seem to turn into someone actually saying, “I want you. I want to be your girlfriend.” I recently spent about two months dating someone I really liked. Around 11 dates. We had sex, went on adventures, spent hours just walking and talking, kissed, joked constantly, and talked every day. At times it genuinely felt like I had a girlfriend. Eventually I told her I wanted something more serious and asked whether she saw us moving toward exclusivity. Her answer was basically “potentially.” I tried to live with that for a while, but I realized I was getting more and more attached while still having no idea whether she actually wanted a relationship with me. Today I finally told her that I really liked her and loved spending time with her, but I’d gotten attached and wanted an actual relationship, and staying in something undefined wasn’t good for me. She was kind about it. She said she understood and respected my decision, that she really enjoyed getting to know me, and that she was sorry she couldn’t give me what I wanted. That honestly crushed me. Because I didn’t want to leave her. I wanted her to say, “Wait. I want you too.” And this is bigger than her. I’m tired of chasing. I’m tired of wondering whether someone likes me. I’m tired of trying to interpret texts and changes in communication. I’m tired of getting excited about someone and eventually realizing I’m more invested than she is. I don’t need a bunch of women to want me. I don’t care about sleeping around anymore. I genuinely just want one person. I want someone who is excited when I come home. Someone who reaches for me in bed. Someone who occasionally plans something because she wants to see me. Someone who makes me dinner sometimes and lets me make dinner for her. Someone who misses me. Someone who knows all the imperfect shit about me and still thinks, “Yeah, that’s my guy.” I want a wife and kids, but lately even getting a girlfriend feels impossibly far away. And today work piled onto it too. My boss told me that people on my team don’t like me. So I’m sitting here feeling rejected professionally and personally, and I’m just fucking defeated. It sounds like BS, but I’m on site 10 or 11 hours a day in a pretty hot distribution center, and hit the gym for about 1.5-2 hours a day after work and on the weekends (mostly for my mental health), but I frequently get complimented on my physique (I’m only mentioning that because the obvious advice is go to the gym). I know I have things to work on. I know wanting a relationship this badly probably makes rejection and uncertainty hit me harder than they should. I’m not asking anyone to tell me women suck or that I’m secretly perfect. I’m mostly wondering if any other guys have gone through a period like this. submitted by /u/JoesphBlowseph
Originally posted by u/JoesphBlowseph on r/AskMen