I catch myself always trying to latch onto people. Longong for friendship, for their attention. When I get what I want, it feels okay, not good just okay. But most of the time, it falls short. Most people are busy with themselves, their own lives. Most of my friendships feel more like acquaintances and I think the guys over 30, being mid 30 myself now, can understand and know that feeling well. I only get to visit or meet them every few weeks; I had to cut someone out completely this year because I realized it makes no sense to string someone along who doesn’t give a fuck that we know each other for 15+ years. I tried to fill that void with lots of different crap over the years. It probably started with gaming, loooots of gaming with RTS, shooters, MMORPGs (not WoW at least…) and RPGs or whatever the Dark Souls series is. Then porn, ungodly amounts of crap that I’m not proud of. I tried it with shopping, buying stuff I don’t need and hoarded lots of items, not to the extent it ever became a problem money wise but far too much. Then my now ex girlfriend, trying to fix her problematic life and whatever she came up with that day to earn a place was my last attempt I think. I have been in therapy for depression a bit over a year ago, mostly I am fine. Still, I’m asking myself when was the last time I genuinely had fun. Most things I do to compete, to be the best or perform well, say shooters, my hobbies, strength training. submitted by /u/Elendil_V
Originally posted by u/Elendil_V on r/AskMen
You must log in or # to comment.