I’m 31 and a man and I’ve felt deep loneliness for a while. Sometimes it’s better than not obviously it goes through cycles but I feel it. I am neurodivergent adhd and ocd but even before that I felt it too. At times I’ve struggled to fit in I’ve always been a bit different to most people I think it’s got more since I get older I’m a bit particular with things. I ask the question because if someone asked my friends they’d probably say the opposite. I have a big group of mates and genuinely they are really good people but I don’t have any best mates at all. I took a break from the group chat recently and I think I got one message outside of it in like a week or so. And that is no slight on my friends I took myself out for a bit it wasn’t an experiment just something I’ve noted, who actually makes effort if you withdraw completely, not many! I have been single ‘officially’ for 11 years. I wouldn’t say it was bad until 25/26 and even though I go on dates and have casual sex nothing has lasted longer than 6-8 weeks for the last half a decade maybe more. I have had best mates before, you know someone who would class as a brother. Someone who is the first port of call for anything and it is the same way for them too. I do not have anyone who would pick me as their best man and I don’t know who I would choose either. Even for those of you who may have a wife and kids I know Men can be critically lonely too for a variety of reasons so this is not just for singletons like me. I think it makes it worse when you have a big group but still feel this way. I couldn’t really myself out there more in terms of looking for a partner. Across all social media apps including dating profiles I’m always looking, messaging girls who I think are cute but nothing. And at 31 I think the prospect of ever having 1 best friend is not gonna happen. I’m wondering how many fellow lads out there are suffering with loneliness? submitted by /u/biscottihole
Originally posted by u/biscottihole on r/AskMen