Original Reddit post

I’ve always been someone who tends to overthink things, so I’m trying to figure out whether I’m actually picking up on something or just reading too much into people’s behavior. Over the last 1–2 years, I’ve increasingly felt like other men don’t respect me as much as they used to. This is mostly with men I know to some extent. It’s rarely anything obvious, but more subtle things — seeming uninterested in me, only talking about themselves, never asking me anything, correcting things I say in a somewhat condescending way, etc. One situation in particular has made me think about this a lot. My girlfriend and I were recently at a party at an old friend’s place. A bunch of people I used to hang out with when I was younger were there as well, although I only see most of them about once a year these days. My girlfriend had never met any of them before. On the way home, she said that she thought everyone was nice except one guy, who she felt came across as a bit of a bully / someone who liked to assert himself. I didn’t really understand what she meant, so I asked her for examples, but the only thing she could really point to was that he talked a lot about himself. Since then, I’ve thought back to my interactions with him quite a few times, and I’ve gradually started noticing things that, in hindsight, felt pretty disrespectful. Things like correcting the way I said things in a slightly condescending way, for example. I’ve started wondering whether this was actually what my girlfriend was picking up on, without wanting to say it directly. The strange thing is that if she had never mentioned that she thought he had that kind of attitude, I probably wouldn’t have thought twice about any of our interactions. Now I’ve been analyzing them for quite a long time. I was also fairly drunk that night, so maybe that’s part of why I didn’t notice or react to it at the time. This is also why I’m unsure whether I’m actually becoming more aware of something that’s been happening, or whether I’m simply looking for evidence after my girlfriend’s comment. I’ve generally felt pretty respected by other people in the past, so when I notice similar things from several different men, I start wondering if something about me has changed — the way I look, carry myself, my general energy, something I’m doing without realizing it, etc. I’ve also noticed that when I’m in a group, men will sometimes talk to everyone except me, or barely make eye contact with me while talking. I genuinely don’t know how to interpret that. Is it a sign that they’re uncomfortable around me, don’t particularly like me, don’t see me as someone worth engaging with, or could it mean something completely different? I’m aware that I could simply be overthinking all of this, which is why I’d really like to hear from other men. Have you ever felt like other men started treating you with less respect? If so, what did you notice, and how did you figure out whether it was actually happening or just in your head? And how do you interpret a guy who rarely makes eye contact with you or doesn’t really engage with you in a group? submitted by /u/CommercialGur3720

Originally posted by u/CommercialGur3720 on r/AskMen