I’m not talking about women having standards or wanting different things from a relationship. I mean situations where the expectations are clearly different depending on which side is being asked to do something. I’ve run into a few examples that made me wonder if this is more common than I thought:
- A woman expects her boyfriend to pay for most bills and also purchase the house by himself because “men would do it if they wanted to love her,” while also expecting him to do an equal share household work. When you point out that traditional expectations are being applied selectively, the response is basically that providing is what makes a man, a man, but chores are both people’s role.
- Another expects the man to approach, plan dates, initiate conversations, make the relationship official, propose, and generally keep things moving, but consider it “controlling” if he expects her to take comparable initiative. She wants the benefits of being pursued without accepting that pursuing someone is also an effort.
- Another one I’ve seen is the expectation that it’s men’s duty to make the relationship exciting, loving, make her feel secure, make her feel beautiful. That is to say, the man loves her and her contribution in return is she feels loved and cared for. Kind of like, the man is the active participant putting in the effort and she is the passive receiver. The thing that interests me isn’t whether these expectations are right or wrong. It’s the selective application of relationship roles. Have you guys encountered women who wanted a very traditional relationship when it benefited them, but a very egalitarian relationship when it did not? What was the most blatant example you’ve personally seen? submitted by /u/plantrromn
Originally posted by u/plantrromn on r/AskMen
You must log in or # to comment.