After ending a codependent, emotionally abusive relationship that culminated after twenty years in devaluation and eventual discard and a negative therapy experience, I turned to LLMs to help process the fallout after about two years past the divorce. I believe I’ve managed sycophancy moderately well, and was self aware enough to consider it more like a journal that would mirror back and rephrase - rather than offer any kind of challenge or therapeutic feedback. Overall, the experiences was positive, and I felt that it did help contextualise my experiences, help understand and contain where my accountability ended and my ex spouse’s began - something that was pretty enmeshed by the end of the relationship - finding myself oscillating between total self blame and total victimhood, and was able to give myself a conceptual framework to unravel the mess and set healthy boundaries for myself - which I still use today in both my coparenting relationship and with my romantic relationship. What I have found is that it’s become much less helpful with dealing with anxiety with my current relationships, and I’ve found that I rely on it now more than I used to - over time it’s become much less of a journal to me - and more like actively looking for advice and place to unload rumination. What’s interesting here is that it’s still just a mirror, and while I’m using it I feel better - but the moment I stop I feel just as anxious, if not moreso - it’s like orange soda, while drinking it I feel refreshed, but the moment the bottle is empty I feel thirsty. Of course, general LLMs are not intended or modelled to be therapists - and increasingly that’s how I felt I was using it, and as my prompting became more about a relationship with a person, and less about a past relationship now without my spouse the “mirror” became much less helpful - because now it involved more than just the person looking into the mirror. One of the things I’d do is start a temporary chat and give it text conversations I wasn’t sure how I managed. One conversation was a major slip up that almost cost me the relationship I’m discovering now with an absolutely amazing woman before it’s had a chance to find itself - Gemini responded with exactly what I didn’t want to hear, and when I protested, disclosing that I as “Person A” and not “Person B” it changed immediately - saying “that changes everything”. How does this change anything?? I fucked up. That’s the only thing that mattered. I’ve now deleted both ChatGPT and Gemini, partly because I don’t want my partner stumbling in the hot mess my chat history is, partly because it’s time to get a therapist and actually figure out this hot mess. submitted by /u/Diligent_Drawer_1231
Originally posted by u/Diligent_Drawer_1231 on r/ArtificialInteligence
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