26M here. Finally got my first official lease months ago after moving from the West Coast after a travel job. TL;DR between untreated ADHD till I was 23 and especially ASD I missed out on many formative experiences especially dating and relationships. Also had a pretty tumultuous home environment growing up, so I had my share of depression and even post ADHD diagnosis I was in a rough patch that culminated in a deep depressive spiral, losing a couple of jobs and financial/social stagnation as a result since I couldn’t afford anything besides just getting up, going to work, rinsing and repeating. Fast forward to now, things are better. I’m back in school doing online classes but still doing what I want to do as an EMT, also accepted an offer to be a volunteer firefighter. I’ve joined a couple Meetup groups, still getting to know people but have been becoming a regular and got two coming up this week(bar crawl and trivia night). Also live in a decent sized one bedroom, pay my own bills and with OT am starting to keep my account stable. I have friends I at least semi regularly talk to back home besides that. I haven’t been too big on hobbies besides lifting and running due to OT, but plan on going back to martial arts, gaming, hiking and reading/writing now that I’m more financially stable. Point being, I’m no major social butterfly but ways from where I was before, or even how I was growing up. The times I went out basically went out socially during high school on one hand or maybe an extra finger on the other because I just didn’t understand socialization. Even when I started to it kinda sorta happened vs any catalyst event. I never got to do uni due to poor academics in HS but also not even getting past community college by this point due to the ADHD stuff. I know everyone throws around the ‘‘love yourself first’’ and all that, and there’s truth to it for sure. I don’t expect a relationship to fix me but feeling like there’s this finish line before you can experience love sucks when you’re someone who literally didn’t choose clinical depression which doesn’t just run its course, and then when the whole reason you are depressed is because you lack what others take for granted, it comes off as tone deaf or priviliged. Anyway, I’ve turned other parts of my life around, but this one still seems to be tricky. I got one Match on Hinge who stopped answering and even one of my female friends said she got demoralized on apps too(met her current partner in person). I know I can’t just be Boomhauer and ask random women out point blank and expect to get anything but a hookup if even that. And can’t befriend people purely just for the networking aspect since that would be wrong. And if it matters(not to channel Elliot Rodger) but I’m 6’3, 199 on an empty stomach still technically askinny fat and not much beyond newbie gains but it’s still visible I workout. Have a skin care routine, shower and brush/floss regularly, have locs. Face wise I’m probably average but told I look younger than I am by 3-7 years in a good way. Old women have hit on my at least, lol. Anywho, for those in a similar boat how did you guys do it with dating? TL;DR Have made notable self improvement, still some ways to go and coping with depression but still want to find love while under my own roof, wondering how others did it submitted by /u/Zen-Paladin
Originally posted by u/Zen-Paladin on r/AskMen