My husband admitted that he hoped one day he’d think more like I do when it comes to our family. Putting him or our kids first. That he struggles with putting himself first always and not thinking about us first. I don’t think he does this always but he does have to try. Like his reflex is to think of himself first others later. How I see it? He’s lived an incredibly hard life. To the point where thinking about himself first was survival. And also when everyone has treated him the way he has why the fuck should he do anything for them? He’s a good husband, when he gives gifts they’re thoughtful and useful. I have always appreciated them. He says nice things and he’s affectionate. He’s just inconsiderate sometimes or he wants what he wants first to excess and I’ll have to say something for him to go "oh, you’re right. Etc. " But as a man, how would you work on this? If he feels he wants to improve I’d like to help where I can. How do you learn to be more selfless? I have struggled with being a people pleaser my whole life and had to actually work in the opposite direction and be able to set boundaries or be a bit selfish sometimes so I have no idea how to do this in reverse. Putting other people above me has been an easy thing for me to my detriment. So learning how is beyond me. I also know men can think differently than women sometimes so I’m hoping some of the men here will have thoughts on how I might help him out. Or what might be good for him to do that could help him practice this. We’re basically from polar extremes trying to find our way to a happy middle. submitted by /u/doubled-darst
Originally posted by u/doubled-darst on r/AskMen
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