Hey y’all, I’m (20M) at a place in my life where I don’t know how to fix the relationship with my mom (47F) despite what I say or do. For context, I grew up with both parents, dad died when I was 12 and my mom has been… different since then. For the last few years I’ve spent my time living with abusive, neglectful aunties and cousins because my mom didn’t have the financial capability to provide for us at that time (Dad was a solo earner, didn’t want my mom to work) which I understood. I didn’t hold that against her because I know her world flipped upside down too. I only really started living with my mom again when I was 16. Since then, me and my mom have always gotten into big arguments that has caused the gap in our relationship to widen as I grew older. Most of these arguments come from finances. My mom is very financially irresponsible, getting scammed multiple times while I was in high school even though those scams were easily avoidable, always repeatedly getting these loans that I know she wouldn’t be able to pay back, and even now as a working adult living under the same roof she never tells me about any additional expenses that she has instead of telling me the truth so that I can help. She’d rather suddenly bring up at the dinner table that she needs some money to pay something off when I’ve already allocated the monthly budget. She’s incredibly stubborn, can never perceive any other person’s world view aside from her own, and has communication issues despite me communicating that I don’t like when she yells even when I’m talking to her calmly. She’s difficult and I love her, despite all the nasty things she’s said to me. Yes, I yell too, but that’s because it’s the only time she ever really hears me. And after we argue, she often starts to guilt trip me afterwards. What do I do? I love my mom, but I’m lost here. submitted by /u/Parking_Preference86
Originally posted by u/Parking_Preference86 on r/AskMen
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