My girlfriend (34F) and I(M36) have been together for almost 2 years and lived together for 1. She has 3 kids that live with us from 2 previous relationships and I have 2 kids that mostly reside with mum (42% with me since separating) Baptember she changed her meds a few times and it’s been hard to deal with the ups and downs to the point where I considered ending things before Christmas. Instead I talked and tried to make it work and things were going well, I even restarted therapy to keep my head straight. However, her health has gotten worse and she spends most of her time asleep, sick, has headaches or her joints hurt too much to do things so I’m essentially looking after the kids and her. I even booked her doctor’s appointment because she wouldn’t wake up early enough to call the surgery. My friend suggested making a pros and cons, my therapist has agreed our next session should be purely focused on the relationship and my parents and best friend are all telling me it’s not working. One of the biggest cons in the past has been that I’m not a priority (behind her kids obvs) because she rarely will do things for me romantically and such - for example she “forgot” valentines day this year even though she told me all about the kids in her class making lots of cards this year. This week she has been on a real downer and saying how bad a girlfriend, mum, daughter she is and I’m finding it hard to reassure her because some of the things she’s saying reflect what I’m feeling too. Last night my mum called us out in person as needing to think about long term family home plans and renting somewhere bigger so my kids can have more space of their own which led my gf to reveal that she struggles with the fact I’m a dad and gets angry when I leave to collect my kids or spend time with them as she wants me to herself. That didn’t sit right with me and she had issues with getting her head round the idea of affording a rental so I tried to help by making a spreadsheet to she we could afford it as a team - her mentality was that she would have less money in her bank and she’s not happy with that, mine was that it means all the kids have space when they’re here and we have more room overall. Our conversations on the matters were reasonably good but she missed her meds for 2 days and has now cut off serious talks until she is in the right headspace on her meds are in her system. So I’m now at a jump off point, I don’t see me putting up with this for the next 10 years but I do love her and I know she loves me but my kids are the priority. Please help, how do I get over the guilt and fear of leaving? Tl:Dr my girlfriend is jealous of my kids and uses me like a carer for her and her kids. It’s getting too much for me now. submitted by /u/Typical-Jury-7984
Originally posted by u/Typical-Jury-7984 on r/AskMen
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