I’m interested in hearing from married men, especially those who have young children. I’ve been thinking about how differently two people can experience physical intimacy in a marriage. One partner may experience less sex or less initiation as rejection, while the other may feel overwhelmed, disconnected, or hesitant about physical affection because it frequently leads to sexual expectations. For example, pregnancy, exhaustion, and caring for young children can affect someone’s desire for sex, even when they still love and desire their partner. At the same time, I understand that a lack of sexual initiation can leave someone feeling unwanted or wondering whether their partner is still attracted to them. I think a big part of the problem is when nonsexual affection becomes difficult, too. If someone wants to cuddle or be held without it turning into sex, but their partner struggles to separate affection from sexual initiation, both people can end up feeling lonely. Repeatedly having to reinforce physical boundaries can also make someone less comfortable initiating or receiving touch. I’m trying to understand how couples can work through this without either person’s needs being dismissed. For the men here: If you’ve experienced feeling unwanted by your wife, what helped you feel desired again? How do you maintain physical affection when sex isn’t going to happen? How do you handle rejection without becoming emotionally distant from your partner? If physical boundaries have become a source of tension, what helps rebuild trust and make affection feel comfortable for both people? How did becoming parents affect your expectations around sex, affection, and emotional connection? I’m not looking for advice that one partner should simply have more sex or that the other should stop wanting it. I’m interested in what actually helped couples understand each other and rebuild intimacy in a way that felt mutual. I’d appreciate honest perspectives, including ones that challenge my assumptions. submitted by /u/Reina_0719
Originally posted by u/Reina_0719 on r/AskMen