Hey everyone, I’m a young guy who’s played it safe with dating my whole life (aka I settled for whoever was interested in me). In my last relationship, I was the one who got approached. Since it ended, every time I’ve been the pursuer, I’ve struck out. I don’t approach girls often, only the ones I am truly attracted to and interested in. I am a decent looking guy and have done my part on self-improvement like rebuilding a wardrobe, hygiene (skincare + fragrance collection), fitness, social hobbies (pickleball, salsa, school events), etc… Recently, family friends introduced me to a gorgeous girl. I went in expecting a relationship, probably because I’d been told she was looking for one too. We had a few good dates, and then she ghosted me. This has become a repeated pattern, and I’m frustrated. Looking back, I noticed a few things on the dates: I over-talk. I yap way more than I normally do and try to lead the conversation in ways that don’t feel natural to me. I hesitate on physical escalation. I’ve heard so many stories about guys being labeled creeps for making advances that I freeze up. Even when there are clear signs of interest, I insist on taking it slow. I’m not sure if I’m coming across as nervous, too eager, or just not showing enough interest. Probably some mix of all three. Whatever it is, I just can’t seem to get the one that I’m interested in. FML. My questions: How do I get comfortable being myself on dates instead of performing? How do I read signals and escalate physically without feeling like a creep? Is going in expecting a relationship from date one a mistake? Should I approach more women whom I am attracted to with the mindset this is a number’s game? Any advice from people who’ve been through this would mean a lot. Thanks! submitted by /u/wtfislife_1
Originally posted by u/wtfislife_1 on r/AskMen
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