I imagine this won’t be well received, but just hear me out. To my surprise, I recently found myself as the odd man out on this. There’s an askmenadvice post asking if it’s fair to not want your partner fantasizing about other people. I seemed to be the sole man who thought that was possible and a valid desire for internal commitment as well. Pretty much every single guy there responds with that it’s not possible or they would require a bribe of some kind or that they’d need something to distract them enough to not fantasize about random people. There are also many who didn’t even understand the difference between an intrusive thought and one that they humor or build upon. This was something I always imagined was a common constant among the human condition, to have an internal thought life, and autonomy over your own thoughts. Am I the odd one for thinking this way? Are most men driven so strongly by their instincts that they have no thought autonomy? I feel like that’s a stupid question though, but considering how I was the one and only man to say otherwise, and I’ve seen this rhetoric commonly overtime. I assume the actual answer is that these men were instead being defensive and trying to set exploitive standards when they saw an opportunity to do so. However even that, is hard to comprehend the thought life of someone acting that way. So, what are your thoughts lives like? Do you think it would be unreasonable to desire that your partner would have a principle that they don’t humor sexual ideas of other people? Not that it needs to be enforced, but as a just possibility, is that something you think you’d be capable of doing, without any incentive from others, or distractions. Just on your own, in your own mind, do you have autonomy over your thoughts, or do your thoughts just happen to you with no moderation? submitted by /u/GiveMeAHeartOfFlesh
Originally posted by u/GiveMeAHeartOfFlesh on r/AskMen