Original Reddit post

I’m (29f) looking for advice from men who have struggled with alcohol themselves, watched their fathers or father figures struggle with it, or had to confront someone they love about their drinking. I’m quite worried about my dad, and I don’t know what, if anything, I can do to get through to him. Essentially, his entire life is going to work and drinking alcohol. He’s drinking enormous amounts of vodka. He drinks at least a gallon of vodka at home every week, on top of however much he drinks at the golf course. I honestly don’t know how much he’s consuming in total, but it is a lot and he always smells like the floor of a bar. What pisses me off the most is the drinking and driving. Recently, he drove home from the golf course at 9:30 in the morning, so shitfaced that he could barely walk. He then passed out in the middle of the living room for the rest of the day. This wasn’t someone who’d had a couple of beers at the end of the day. He was completely wasted in the morning and had driven himself home over half an hour. I actually called the golf course that morning and told them they over served him, but at the end of the day it’s still his choice….and he could have killed himself or someone else. It’s also getting to the point where his drinking is affecting basic things like taking a shower. I recently stepped in his huge pee puddle on my way to shower because there was urine all over the bathroom floor since he was too drunk to aim?? It is upsetting to see someone I care about deteriorate to this point. I’m angry, I’m frustrated, and I’m honestly disgusted by some of his behaviors. But underneath all of that, I’m worried about him. My mom has reached her limit and is kicking him out. I don’t blame her. But he has made very little effort to find somewhere to live, and I’m increasingly worried that he’s going to end up homeless, drinking himself into oblivion at a shelter, or worse. He’s an adult, and his behavior has consequences. But I also don’t want to stand by and watch him destroy his life if there’s something I could do to help. I’m trying to figure out whether there’s a way to have a real conversation with him about this. Not just another conversation where someone tells him he drinks too much, he gets defensive, he drinks more, and nothing changes. Soooooo help me out……: If you were drinking heavily, what, if anything, actually got through to you? Was there something someone said or did that made you recognize how bad things had become? If you’ve confronted your father or another male family member about alcoholism, how did you approach it? Is there any way to make someone take drinking and driving seriously when they don’t seem to care about the consequences? At what point do you stop trying to help someone who isn’t making any effort to help themselves? submitted by /u/golden_fern_567

Originally posted by u/golden_fern_567 on r/AskMen